Friday, June 23, 2006

Winner: Guest Hater

And the winner is the ever hateful Iamunstoppable, with honorable mention to fairmaiden327. For those of you out there in the betting world he paid off at 7:2.

In general the quality of hate was excellent. This might need to become a recurring theme on Fridays.

Iamunstoppable's hate (I've only included the second half, for a full version and various comments please see the comments from the previous post):
i hate Sally. Sally works at a Walmart (or some variation) and usually comes in 2 main forms. there's the plump, older Sally with a fraying perm who needs to sit on a stool to ring register (aka, Lunch Lady Sally) ... and then theres skinny, bulimic Sally with stringy split ends and a mouth sore (aka, Crack Whore Sally) who you know has at least 3 kids all under the age of 2, yet you cannot fathom how she carried a child because the kids definitely came out weighing more than her. the variable in this is that either or both may have a permanent cigarette rut on her lip where the cigarette has lain now for nearly a lifetime.

so theyre not pretty, theyre not someone you would hang with.. but this is not why i hate them. that's superficial. im not about being superficial, im about the core of people. this is why i hate...

their wrist wrap. yes, the wrist wrap. this is the mark of a seasoned vet. the faux-carpal tunnel wrist brace as if she sprained it shootin b-ball outside of the schoo'. she can scoop up a small bag of chips, your shaving cream, or snag the all-in-one-toolbox youre picking up for dad, but one thing is for sure... she's gonna be in pain after doing it. give the wrist a nice rub and a "eeSSSSSSS" sound (like the 'sucking on your teeth' sound.. i dont think you can really explain that in writing, but hopefully you knowwhatimsayin). then she'll painfully hand you your change just incase you havent been watching her previous antics.

but like a true little trooper, she's on to the next customer and moving right along through the rest of the night shift.

"hey darlene, when you takin yer break??"

to the Sally in Every Store, America... i hate you.
to the overreacting customer.. if you ever waste my time like that again, im gonna stomp you out.


Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

I am so honored, thank you. I added you to my blog and should have done so, long ago. I applaud your decision. And yes, you should definitely give strong consideration to Guest Hating Fridays. I'm full of it. Nite.

8:05 PM  
Blogger The Rev said...

His retail hatred was better than mine. Props to the unstoppable one.

I feel I have let you down. I was favored after all.

1:37 PM  
Blogger anonymous said...

"i hate you.. i hate you too... i dont even know YOU and i hate you..."

i thank the good lord for giving everybody else so much, and me so little.

i felt the hate pour out once i saw i was second fiddle in the rankings. i had to show i could overcome the betting hate and the doubt.

1:58 PM  
Blogger El Padrino said...

wise decision

That was a strong cup of hate

7:36 AM  
Blogger jali said...

(Smiling brightly)

"Congratulations iam." cough*cough*cheater*cough*probably paidhimoff*cough.*

8:19 AM  
Blogger anonymous said...

dont hate just i cause i slept with him before you did.

gotta ante up to the table, ya know?

12:00 PM  
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