Wednesday, August 16, 2006

8/16 - House Guests


First I'll start by saying sorry to all of those who couldn't view the video yesterday. I suggest you view it at your earliest chance.

Today I would like to talk about House Guests. It always seems like a good idea to invite friends/family to stay over. It never works out that way. You have to feed them. You have to entertain them. They are in the bathroom when you want to shower. They eat your last bagel.

Ben Franklin had a famous aphorism, "Visitors and fish both begin to smell in three days." For me its more like one day. I like to sit around in my boxers and sone out watching tv most nights. This is not possible with outsiders in your home.

House guests: I hate you.

11 Comments:

Blogger The Stevo in H-Town said...

'Specially House Guest's that come over unannounced and decide that they need you to entertain them...when...really...
...all you wanna do iz sit around in yer underwear and let out a resounding salvo of fart's at random moment's and catch up on yer TiVO or sumpthin'...
...or maybe jack-off and jus' drink beer...alone...jus' like you were before they decided to disturb your serenity...
I bet that happens to a lotta people...don't you?

9:12 PM  
Blogger El Padrino said...

it does
forget underwear

i got one of those microseude couches that feel gooood on the skin

too much info huh?

8:34 AM  
Blogger The Rev said...

WAY TOO MUCH INFO!

But it sounds nice.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Stiggy said...

I can totally relate to this. It's one thing to have house guests that you don't mind having around. It's another thing, though, to have those that over stay their welcome.

10:15 AM  
Blogger anonymous said...

yeah, if we're talking family, kick em out. if we're talking old buddies that you dont get to see often, i let em stay.

11:52 AM  
Blogger Dirty Birdie said...

That's why our guest bedroom is downstairs with it's own bathroom, tv w/ cable and access to the fridge.

That movie was hysterical though...

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Seething said...

And you know what's worse? When it's your fucking boyfriend's family that comes over and you have to sleep on the couch because you live in a tiny studio apartment and they always get the bed. And they're about as exciting to have around as dryer lint. Fucking hate them.

2:10 PM  
Blogger inlawlover said...

Or when you girlfriends family comes over all the time, even on a random fucking wed and they just eat and drink and bring there fucking dogs and boyfriends and kids and girlfriend, and just some randyom guy that just comes over to stair at your girfriends sister.
and then they spill coffee and beer and fart, and fucking mess up the house, so your left with a broken relationship because your whole life revolves around picking up after 20 fucking people 3 dogs and a dude you don't even know.

Ya and then she starts nagging on you because you are supposed to come up with some fucking order to hurricane inlawnina, and then you are the dick for being mean to her family and they all come back over and make up with each other and then i am the asshole guy because i made some fucking rules like-

no dogs in the house.-fuck you the dogs are in the house

don't park in the driveway- fuck you they will take up 2 spots.

no shoes in the house- fuck you because you are the only one in the house wearing socks! and they don't even match because your girlfriend stopped doing you fucking laundry.

Bring over you own god damn food- fuck you these people haven't seen the in-side of a Safeway since it was a fucking Pack-and-Save.

Pick up after your dogs- fuck you because your backyard is clean because all of the dogs are in your fucking house.

And why is the thermostat always on 75- are trying to make fucking Florida appear.

11:39 AM  
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