Friday, June 30, 2006

06/30 - Throw'em the heater

Its friday and that means its time to bring out the guest hate.

Can't wait to see what you guys have in store this week.

(this will be the title for all friday posts. hope you recognize it from the movie Major League)

this week's favorite to win: Iamunstoppable.

P.S. I won't be posting again til tuesday night/wed. morning.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

6/29/06 - Cankles

Let me start by saying that I have no problem with fat people. I myself have never been fat but I understand that for some people its a struggle and I don't mean to demean them. However, even when you are fat, don't you have to walk around? Wouldn't just this mere walking provide you with a tiny bit of definition in your legs? I never exercise but my calfs are probably the fittest part of my body just from walking and climbing stairs.

Some people however have managed to let their legs fall into horrible shape. Their body is in such bad shape that they have allowed a basic body part, the ankle, to disappear. When the ankle is no longer discernable from the calf it is known as a cankle.

This is pathetic. I'm sorry. If you have a cankle the fist thing you should do is pledge to never use an elevator ever again, just take the stairs.

In the early 20th century cankles were considered the most unattractive attribute a woman could have. Remember, this was a time when showing your ankle was risque. Although modern focus of women may be away from the ankle that doesn't mean they aren't important.

Cankles: I hate you.

P.S. credit for the above pictures belongs to duderus Please also note that this site is a non-profit educational site which educates the world about hate. (hopefully this covers us for fair use).

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

06/28/06 - Educational Smuggness

Have you ever had this conversation:
You: Were did you go to school?
Him: (short silent pause) Harvard (followed by little grin).

I hate that silent pause and little grin. Every person who went to an Ivy league school does this (even those who went to Penn). I tried to think of witty response. I usually say, "Oh thats nice, I went to DeVry."

The silent pause and grin does not work however if you went to DeVry. It just sounds like you forgot the name of the school (how could you forget? they have a tv commercial like every 30 seconds).

I also hate when other schools call themselves the Harvard of the _______. I once met a girl who told me that Samford University is the Harvard of the South. If Samford (in Alabama for those of you who don't know) is the HoS then all those southern stereotypes about dumb rednecks are probably true.

Smug harvard guy: I hate you.

PS. You know I got my PhD (playa hatin degree) from Harvard.

Must See: Hate Comcast

I was preparing to write a Comcast hate post but this will take the place of it. For those of you in the Philly market I'm sure you know my pain. My cable has been on the fritz for over a month and they refuse to fix it, atleast I dont have to pay for it until they do.

6/27/06 - Ian Thomsen

I wanted to write about Ian Thomsen yesterday but he does not qualify as a celebrity. For those of you not into basketball, I'm sorry you probably won't like this post. Whatever, I hate you all anyways.

According to his biography Ian is is one of SI's top basketball scribes. Along with penning the Inside the NBA column for SI, Thomsen is a frequent contributor to And is absolutely horrid. I encourage you to look at his mock draft He has Morrison going 8. Going 8?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Is he insane. NO way he falls past four even if someone has to trade up to get him there.

The NBA draft is one of my favorite times of years. I love reading the rumors and trying to come up with my own trades. For a couple weeks every rumor I make up is just as good as the ones made up in the paper. Have you ever noticed that draft rumors never come true? The trades always come out of left field.

Anyways, writers like Thomson ruin it for me. Their crap isn't even believable.
Ian Thomson: I hate you.

PS. for anyone who cares, I predict the draft to go as follows (trades will happen rendering this inaccurate)
1.TOR-Bargani, 2.CHI-Aldrigde, 3.CHA-Roy, 4. POR-Morrison, 5. ATL-S.Williams, 6. MIN-Gay, 7. BOS-Thomas, 8. HOU-Foye, 9. GS-Simmons, 10. SEA-O'Bryant, 11.ORL- Brewer, 12. NO-Carney 13. PHI-M. Williams, 14. Utah- Armstrong

I feel pretty good about most of these picks except Utah. For some reason I can't remember reading much about them except for the fact that they liked Sene. I doubt they will draft Sene and Armstrong will probably be the best big man on the board left. Also, look for Phoenix (if they keep their current picks) to grab Quincy Douby. He would be an unbelieveable fit on that team.

And my draft rumor that I am making up today that will not come true, but I wish it would. Dalembert + Korver + 13th Pick for Marion + 27th pick. Then Iverson in a sign and trade for Harrington. Leaves a sixers starting lined up of drafted PG, Igoudala, Harrington, Marion, Hunter with CWebb coming off the bench so he can regulate his minutes.

Sorry for the sports post. I know there are a billion blogs writing them. Back to regular hate tomw.

Monday, June 26, 2006

6/26/06 - Celeb of the Week: Kathy Griffin

Many blogs like to write about their favorite comedians. I will write about the worst. Perhaps you are familiar with her; her name is Kathy Griffin. There are two main attributes of Kathy that I truly hate:
1. her unfunny comic routine
2. her botched face lift.

I will examine each in order. Her "reality" tv show on Bravo is called "My Life on the D-List." There is a reason why she is on the D-List. She is a comedian and she is not funny. Were she to be even remotely funny she would probably be promoted to the B-List. To date Kathy has had 2 distinct and equally annoying types of comedy. Years ago she played the annoying spunky red head. Today she plays the sarcastic b*tch. Neither makes her appealing. While I usually enjoy observing self-deprication hers appears fake. Its like she knows that people find self-deprication funny but she isn't really unhappy with her life. Perhaps thats why so many of her jokes fall flat on their face.

How much would you pay to see Kathy Griffin at a comedy club? $5? I wouldn't pay a cent and I used to essentially live at a comedy club. (For any readers in the DC area I hope you visit the DC Improv often, the acts they bring through are usually pretty good)

On to Kathy's face lift. Who performed this? Dr. Frankenstein? Her cheeks look ridiculous. Am I supposed to believe that is her natural face? Who wants to look at someone who is completely fake? She might as well were a brownbag over head. In fact, more men would probably find her attractive if she was to do so.

Kathy Griffin: I hate you.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Winner: Guest Hater

And the winner is the ever hateful Iamunstoppable, with honorable mention to fairmaiden327. For those of you out there in the betting world he paid off at 7:2.

In general the quality of hate was excellent. This might need to become a recurring theme on Fridays.

Iamunstoppable's hate (I've only included the second half, for a full version and various comments please see the comments from the previous post):
i hate Sally. Sally works at a Walmart (or some variation) and usually comes in 2 main forms. there's the plump, older Sally with a fraying perm who needs to sit on a stool to ring register (aka, Lunch Lady Sally) ... and then theres skinny, bulimic Sally with stringy split ends and a mouth sore (aka, Crack Whore Sally) who you know has at least 3 kids all under the age of 2, yet you cannot fathom how she carried a child because the kids definitely came out weighing more than her. the variable in this is that either or both may have a permanent cigarette rut on her lip where the cigarette has lain now for nearly a lifetime.

so theyre not pretty, theyre not someone you would hang with.. but this is not why i hate them. that's superficial. im not about being superficial, im about the core of people. this is why i hate...

their wrist wrap. yes, the wrist wrap. this is the mark of a seasoned vet. the faux-carpal tunnel wrist brace as if she sprained it shootin b-ball outside of the schoo'. she can scoop up a small bag of chips, your shaving cream, or snag the all-in-one-toolbox youre picking up for dad, but one thing is for sure... she's gonna be in pain after doing it. give the wrist a nice rub and a "eeSSSSSSS" sound (like the 'sucking on your teeth' sound.. i dont think you can really explain that in writing, but hopefully you knowwhatimsayin). then she'll painfully hand you your change just incase you havent been watching her previous antics.

but like a true little trooper, she's on to the next customer and moving right along through the rest of the night shift.

"hey darlene, when you takin yer break??"

to the Sally in Every Store, America... i hate you.
to the overreacting customer.. if you ever waste my time like that again, im gonna stomp you out.

6/23/06 - Guest Hate

Tell me what you hate in the comments. Best hate gets promoted to the front page.

Steve 3:1
Iamunstoppable 7:2
Anthony 6:1
Maulleigh 9:1
Other 5:1

Thursday, June 22, 2006

6/22/06- Steam Grates

Occassionally as I walk around the city I am lucky enough to have a random blast of smelly hot air hit me in the face.

Who decided to put these in the middle of sidewalks? Why couldn't they just be in the middle of the street where the steam would hit nothing but the bottom of the cars and perhaps a few unsuspecting motorcyclists. My least favorite location for these grates is corners. Often I find myself waiting for a light to change so I can cross the street and all the sudden, WHAM! I get hit with a steam bath.

The worst part about this steam is the wierd smell. If it was just normal steam I wouldn't mind. Hell, some people pay to get sit in a steam. This steam however is more of a combination of heat and garbage. Theres nothing like walking down the street half asleep on your way into work in the morning and getting a waft of trash in your face.

Steam grates: I hate you.

P.S. for the original of the photo please visit Alan De Smet's webpage.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

6/21/06 - Loud Cell Phone Talkers

We've all had to encounter them. Whether on a train or in the supermarket these people are unavoidable. As soon as there cell phone rings there voice increases in volume. HELLO! YES, I GOT THE RESULTS, I HAVE CLAMIDIA.

Try as you might to not evesdrop on the conversation you are forced into the person's world. The odd part is that they may have been having a conversation before in which they were speaking in a normal tone of voice. Then their phone rings (probably an annoying ring like la cocaracha) and they begin to yell. These people need to learn to respect others in public places. They are like small children who don't know the difference between indoor and outdoor voices.

Loud cell phone talkers: I hate you.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

6/20/06: "That's Awesome" Guy

This weekend at a bar I ran into one of my least favorite type of people, the "That's Awesome" guy. No matter what you tell him, he thinks what you are doing is awesome. You're in school: that's awesome.
You're flipping burgers: that's awesome.
You're getting married: that's awesome.
You just murdered a crack whore: that's awesome.
You've been wearing the same underwear for 8 days straight: that's awesome.

I think you get the picture. Not only does "thats awesome" guy continually smile (which i can't stand) but it all comes across as so fake. Not everything is awesome. Sometimes it has to suck. If everything was awesome, awesome would have no meaning.

That's Awesome Guy: I hate you.

Monday, June 19, 2006

6/19/06: Celeb of the Week: Tim "T.I." Harris

This hate goes back to something I heard a couple months ago. At the time, the movie "ATL" was just about to come out and the star of it was Tim "T.I." Harris. For those of you not familiar with the film ATL here is the imdb plot outline: "As four friends prepare for life after high school, different challenges bring about turning points in each of their lives. The dramas unfold and resolve at their local rollerskating rink."

When the movie was about to be released many movie theaters were worried about the crowd that was gonig to show up for it, so they hired extra security. Basically, these theaters were being racist because they thought the crowds would be primarily black.

I heard an interview with T.I. during which the radio host asked him if he was insulted by the extra security. He responded by saying he didn't care as long as he got paid. What kindof attitude is that? Would Ray Charles have said that? Would Marvin Gaye have that? Would Public Enemy have said that? Would Mos Def say that? How could he, in such a public position to influence the youth, take such an approach to blatant racism.

I know if any of my readers are from Atlanta or the south they will be upset about this. Down there T.I. is a god. But, that is all the more reason he should have spoke up. We are witnessing a generation of politcally disconnected youth and part of the reason why is that their rolemodels say thats cool.

But you know what? T.I.: I hate you.

Friday, June 16, 2006

6/16/05 - Fantastic Interview

So, I normally post some hate for y'all, but yesterday I read an interview that was so fantastic it needed to be shared. The Phildelphia Metro (the paper they give away for free every day) had a Q&A with Steven Segal. Below are some of the choice quotes. If you only read one, please read the last one which includes some hate on Tom Cruise. If you want to see the original of the interview click here and scroll to page 17. It will take a long time to load. The only way I could find the article online was to bring up the pdf copy.

Q: What else don’t we know about you?
A: I’m a very funny guy, if you’ll forgive me for saying so. When I did “The Glimmer Man” with Keenan Ivory Wayans, he and I were talking about who was funniest, and I think I kicked his ass every day.

Q: Quite a few of your recent films have gone straight to video. Why is that?
A: I had a problem with management for a while. To be honest, there are some people who are shriveling up in the gutter. Those were some people in positions of power at Warner Brothers. One guy, who I won’t mention, really did a job on me. He went out of his way to try to ruin me. For a while, I just didn’t do big studio movies. I didn’t care. I was busy doing music. Now, I’m back with Sony. I have a three-picture deal, which is guaranteed to be theatrical. I’m happy.

Q: What’s up with contemporary action heroes? Nicholas Cage and Orlando Bloom are not the stereotypical types.
A: I would say the same thing,just to be polite. Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs]from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

6/15/06- Its Bad, Its Bad, You Know It, Its Bad

Sorry for another fashion related post, but I believe that this is one that everyone can relate to. In the office today (notice, I see all of these fashion mistakes at work) I saw a guy wearing dress shoes and white sweat socks. This is quite possibly the worst look ever.

Unless your name is Michael Jackson, you should never try to make such a fashion statement.

Who doesn't have a pair of black socks? I honestly believe that pulling a dirty pair out of the laundry would be superior to wearing sweat socks. Just turn them inside out. Would you rather have slightly smelly feet covered by your shoes, or be confused for a man that most thinks is a child molester? (Please note that I said most people. As a law student, if the courts find him innocent he's innocent in my book. That, and how could a man who recorded Thriller ever do wrong?)

And if you don't have black socks, couldn't you pick up a pair on the way into the office. We only pass like 8 trillion places between the train and the office. I'm pretty sure socks won't break the bank, then again I got all of mine at Costco cause I'm a cheap bastard.

(On a cheap clothing side note: Did you know that at Target boys XL polo shirts are the same size and the exact same shirt as men's medium, yet there is a $10 price difference between the two? If you want to buy yours in the boys section, you better move quickly while you're there, you don't want to be confused for Michael Jackson, see I knew I could bring my circle of logic around).

Guys wearing white socks and black dress shoes: I hate you.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

6/14/06 - Squirrels

I am not an animal person. I have never had a dog and most likely never will. However, I can still stand to be around most animals. Except for squirrels. They are the dumbest, most annoying, useless creature to walk to the face of the earth.

The worst is when they stop on the sidewalk in front of you and stare at you. No mr. squirrel, I do not want to pet/feed your disease ridden ass.

For those of you like me I direct you to the Anti Squirrel Coalition I think these guys have more hate than even I do. Be sure to check out their weapons. And I quote, "Our missions are designed to eliminate the dreaded bushytail. The majority of our missions are Search and Destroy operations. Through our vast network of information we find out where the bushytail lives, then after we pinpoint his bunkers, we kill him. This fight has been going on for as long as I can remember. Brave men have always gone out into the dark woods to face the evil squirrel. Many of them never came back... Yet, we will keep up the fight and protect our country. Watch your back!"

Squirrels: I hate you.

Official Hate On A Stick Athlete

I cannot believe this site has existed so long without me naming an official hate on a stick athlete. Well ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Rod Smart, or as you might know him "He Hate Me."

This was a brilliant piece of marketing. He is the only memorable aspect of the now defunct XFL.

6/13/06 - 110%

Short post today, just going to speak real quick about a piece of the american vernacular that drives me crazy. So I grew up playing and watching alot of sports. What happens during every big game? Someone guarentees that he/she will give 110%. Folks, that just not possible. How about we start by giving 100%? Don't believe me? Ok, here's what I want you to do: 1. go to your local pizzeria, 2. order a large cheese pizza, 3. bring it home, 4. eat 110% of the pie.

110 percenters: I hate you.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Black is Back

Because Steve said the tan makes him want to eat pie and I don't want to promote obesity in this already fat country, black is back.

P.S. I'll tell you what I'm not hating, last night's premier of Entourage, still one of the funniest shows on TV.

6/12/06 - Celeb of the Week: Theo Von(kurnatowski)

You might be asking yourself who is Theo Von and how does he qualify as a celebrity? I wasn't sure if he counted as a celebrity but then I saw him on not one but two television shows this past week. Granted they were both "reality" shows, but he must be important if he was on two of them. First I saw him on the MTV Fresh Meat Challenge (more on that later) and then I saw him on Last Comic Standing. He wasn't funny on either of them.

For those you not familiar with Theo's body of work, let me catch you up to speed. He first appeared on MTV's Road Rules in 2000. Since then he has appeared in MTV Real World/Road RUles shows in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, and most recently 2006. He also appeared in the 2003 show "Reality TV Secrets: How to Get on the Show!" He must turly be an expert on the subject.

Remarkably his name has changed going from Vonkurnatowski to Theo Von. I guess that would have been a good career move if anyone ever had to say his name out loud. But, seeing as how his career is near non-existent I don't see the logic.

If you want a good laugh you should check out his homepage Lets review the things you can do on his website:
1. read Theoisms
2. buy Theo's photos from Real World/Road Rules Challenges
3. Join his Myspace/Friendster
Oh boy, that looks like the website of a winner!

I'm so sick of people starring on reality shows becoming important in the world. I thought people on reality shows were supposed to be regular ordinary people. If they are so regular and ordinary why do we have to keep seeing them after the show is done.

Plus, Theo's stand-up blows. It contains such gems as (and I paraphrase) "I don't know why women don't want to cook, they already have milk and eggs in their body." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I can barely contain myself. Oh wait, I can, its not funny.

Theodor Capitani Vonkurnatowski: I hate you.

P.S. Sorry for the template change. I preferred the black. But, according to some geek I had to change because my template got "truncated." I have no idea what that means but enjoy the beige. And, if you want me to move to another site where there will be less technical problems, you better encourage more people to read this site.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

6/9/06- Running Into People

I hate running into people that I haven't talked to in a long time. The vast majority of the time there is a reason that I haven't talked to the person in a long time, because you are not cool enough to talk with me any longer.

Today while walking from the train to work, I ran into my senior prom date from high school. I haven't talked to her in several years. I pretended not to recognize her. What was I going to say? "Oh, you have a job, amazing, I thought you'd be a crach-whore." While that was going through my mind I didnt actually say it, perhaps I'm going soft in my old age. She asked for my cell phone number, I hope this doesn't mean we have to talk again.

She ended our conversation with "great to see you." I gave a mere wave of the hand. These types of conversation are 1. fake 2. boring and 3. predictable. If you get caught in this conversation here are the questions you are likely to receive:
1. so what are you up to?
2. where are you living?
3. how is (fill in random mutual friend or family member)?
4. are you dating anyone?
5. did you ever get crabs after we stopped seeing each other (I made that one up)

you get the idea. no one wants to be in this conversation. you say you'll call, but you never will.

old acquaintances who insist on making conversation: I hate you.

P.S. The Conversation is a great movie, consider it highly recommended.

6/8/06 - Braided Belts

News flash Walter Cronkite: braided belts are not cool.

Let me give you one more piece of advice. If you are starting a summer job, do not show up wearing 1. a short sleeve button down shirt, 2. khakis that are 3 sizes too big, and 3. a braided belt. This is not a good look. And, this is how a fellow law student was dressed at my summer job yesterday. I'm pretty sure he got a lecture from our boss. Where did he pick out his clothes from? His grandfather's closet? I'm not template of high fashion, nor do I pretend to be. But, one should take atleast a little pride in their appearance (atleast during the first week of a new job).

Men wearing braided belts: I hate you.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

6/6/06 - Burrito Thrower

Today's hate is directed at someone who made my morning sh*tty. I get up early to get in my car, to drive to a train, to ride into another city, to walk to work. Well, one recent morning I walked out to my car and someone had thrown a burrito at my car. There was crap all over the window and the side view mirror. I had no time to clean it and my commute requires driving on a highway. So, I had to drive around with my window down so I could see in order to change lanes.

Really, who throws a burrito? Where did this burrito even come from? My car was parked in the middle of a typical suburban neighborhood. There is no place any where near by that sells burrito. According to the closest Taco Bell is 2.39 miles. Thats a long way to travel to throw a burrito at a random car. (By the way, I suggest visiting, the musical choices are hilarious). Eventually I got some windex (spelling?) and got it cleaned off, but I was thoroughly pissed.

Whoever threw that burrito: I hate you.

PS. I was pleasantly suprised by the responses to yesterday's post. Thank you for being the understanding lot that you are. I think it speaks volumes about our generation. Often it seems to me that homophobia is a generational thing that is fading away. Perhaps my view is skewed by having lived in metropolitan areas however.

Monday, June 05, 2006

6/5/06 - Homophobes

I know its Monday and that its supposed to be celebrity hate day, but today I will write a rare political hate message. I intended to stay entirely away from political postings on this site. 1. there are too many people doing it, 2. who am I to preach? and 3. I would hate to misarticulate my position.

However, today's announcement of a constitutional ban on gay marriage has pulled me out of my pledge. I think this is an absurd proposal and backed by nothing but bigotry. I have never heard a good argument against gay marriage. Supposedly marriage is supposed to be about procreation. Well, can impotent people marry? Can people who commit domestic abuse marry? Are former convicted pedophiles prohibited from marriage? Can drug addicts marry? I would certainly rather have my child raised by a homosexual than an abuser or pedophile.

The way I see it, marriage is a government institution that allows individuals to place one relationship above all others. I don't care if religious groups will sanction it or not. I agree that the government should stay out of churches, synagouges, mosques and other religious buildings. Yet, if two people want to be married by a justice of the peace, who is the government ot determine what is a meaningful relationship?

Furthermore what is this sanctity of marriage stuff? Hasn't the modern divorce rate already obliterated any such concept.

And oh, some states have decided to offer "civil unions." They are marriage but with a different name. That sounds like "separate but equal," a principal we as a country rejected long ago.

I myself am not gay, but what if I was? I would want to be able to marry my love. The LGBT community deserves the same rights and privileges that we all do.

Sorry for the rant. Back with objective hate tomorrow.

Friday, June 02, 2006

6/2/06 - Food In The Bathroom

Yesterday at work I was washing my hands in the restroom when a guy walked in with a slice of pizza on a plate. Granted, he was just walking in to wash his hands before he ate, but in my humble opinion food does not belong any where near the bathroom. The mere idea of it creeps me out and I'm not a germaphobe in the slightest.

People who bring food in the bathroom: I hate you.