Friday, July 14, 2006

7/14 - Throw'em the heater

You know what to do.

I'm off to the mid-west for a wedding. If you don't hear from me on Monday it probably means I've been forced to marry the daughter of a local farmer and will spend the rest of my life looking forward to the Jackson County Fair. See my potential inlaws:

Have a hate-filled weekend. I know I will.


Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

DH, I have had it. Yesterday I was in a rage over The Yakker which I posted about but today I will discuss my suppressed rage at The Inconsiderate Neighbor. TIN is about 90 lbs. a Nicole Richie skell who lives upstairs. I am now convinced she ties cement blocks to her feet and traipses the apartment. I loathe her and subsequently have fantasized about maiming her. I'm not sure if there is coke involved but she gets started somewhere about 10.30p. Keep in mind I get up at 4.30a for work. For the past few months I have listened to the radio. I have used a yardstick a broom and mop to give her the hint and at my wit's end ran upstairs in my panties.

Inconsiderate Self Centered Neighbors: I hate you

4:15 AM  
Blogger iamunstoppable said...

youve used the old lady broom? haha.. thats funny enough right there.

"yous kids keeps quiet!!"

6:05 AM  
Blogger El Padrino said...

This week's hate I focus on women.
Not all women, just women that stare at me when I'm sitting down on the train, expecting me to get up for them (fair maiden this better not be you). Now let me just say that I will get up on only two occasions:
1. If your over 90 yrs old (I need to see ID)
2. If your visibly pregnant. Visibly meaning large growth protruding from stomach.
If you don't meet any of those requirements, you will not be sitting in my seat until I get off at 49th st. Which from Brooklyn is a long time. So stop staring at me because it only makes me angry.
Why do I owe you this seat? Because your a woman? AND!? You wanted equal rights, well. Were equal. I'm just as entitled to sit as you. I hate you and the stare face you give me. Stand woman, STAAANDD!!!

8:03 AM  
Blogger iamunstoppable said...

occasion number 3.. if shes cute and you are looking to score points.

9:33 AM  
Blogger LeeB said...

What happened to good ole chivalry. I just thought it was plain ole politeness to let a woman have your seat, no matter where you are. That's what I love about being in the south. My grandfather still pulls out every chair for my grandma, opens every door, especially the car door, and for sure never sits down in the last seat, if she's standing.

Impoliteness toward women: I hate you.

9:39 AM  
Blogger El Padrino said...

oh great, the polite police showed up

11:24 AM  
Blogger iamunstoppable said...

i say give it up if the woman doesnt stare at you and expect it. if she thinks she deserves it, then no, do it just to piss her off.

or if shes hot and potentially obtainable. hot and looks like a snobby biatch? no..

basically, if you might get something out of it, then you can do it.

11:57 AM  
Blogger El Padrino said...

but you realize of course this takes place during rush hour, in nyc. There are about 169 people in one train car at any given time, so that also plays into my decision. I don't particulary care for standing face to face with an immigrant who smells like boiled dog hair or 87 crushed cigarettes while i try to hold on to a disease stained pole.

12:23 PM  
Blogger iamunstoppable said...

then sitting it is!

1:45 PM  
Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

No EP it certainly isn't me although I used to give up my seat for the elderly and pregnant and by pregnant I have to see her touching da belly. I once offered my seat to a pregnant woman and she was just fat. I wanted to die that day.

7:50 AM  
Blogger The Stevo in H-Town said...

I say, Ifya give yer seat to a woman, yer jus' perpetuating chauvinism and it gives wimmin' the best of both world's, which was their aim inda first place...I mean...ya damn sure wouldn't give the seat to a dude, wouldya?
Hell, I'm a huge Women's Lib proponent...Bring it, darlin'...

8:08 AM  
Blogger iamunstoppable said...

summer... nice warm weather... kids playing outside... actually the weather is now getting hot and sticky... taking a walk around the neighborhood/city...

looks like someone put their trash out... uh oh, them be some flies... smelling the hot, soaking stench of HOT GARBAGE... instant throat gag...

smell of hot garbage: i hate you.

5:26 AM  
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