Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Taking A Break

I'm taking a break from posting. Don't know when I'll be back again. I used to always get frustrated when my favorite blogs didn't update constantly. Now I understand why. If you would like me to leave you a message when (and if) I post again, let me know in the comments.

It has been a pleasure hating for all of you. Please keep up the hate in my absence.

If anyone would like to be added to this blog as a member and keep up the daily postings please let me know.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Friday, August 18, 2006

8/18 - Throw'em the heater

Sorry for the late update, hope I haven't ruined anyone's day. I know you all hold your breath until I post.

Who is feeling hateful today?

Last week's winner: EP, with honorable mention to Bobman.

If you work in a building with an elevator then you may know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people that have a conversation in the elevator while a bunch of other poeple just stand there.

I'm not a fan of hearing about your house in Long Island Mr. Pink tie. And no Ms. Shallow Woman I don't care that Henry missed his thrid consecutive day of day care with the runs.

I mean the ride down from the 26th floor is only like a minute and a half. So you really need to talk the whole way down. You can't wait? No one wants to hear your conversations.

Espeacially the whispering fools. Hey asshole. We hear you, we are all in a steel box the size of a closet....whispering won't work you mindless ape.....just shut up.

Elevator talkers: I Hate You.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

8/17 Sanctimonious Music Expert

We all have one friend who thinks he/she knows everything about music. Everytime a song comes on they know who sang it, who wrote, where it was recorded, and the exact number of people that have lost their virginity while the song played in the background. This friend for some reason always has to tell you how bad your taste in music is. Whatever you like, he knows something better or knows why your's sucks.

I have a theory about these people. I think they secretly love top 40. In fact, next time you see one driving by see if he is jamming out to Fergie's London Bridges (talk about a bad song).

Sanctimonious music guy: I hate you.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

8/16 - House Guests

First I'll start by saying sorry to all of those who couldn't view the video yesterday. I suggest you view it at your earliest chance.

Today I would like to talk about House Guests. It always seems like a good idea to invite friends/family to stay over. It never works out that way. You have to feed them. You have to entertain them. They are in the bathroom when you want to shower. They eat your last bagel.

Ben Franklin had a famous aphorism, "Visitors and fish both begin to smell in three days." For me its more like one day. I like to sit around in my boxers and sone out watching tv most nights. This is not possible with outsiders in your home.

House guests: I hate you.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

8/15 - Sometimes you have to love

Borat is one of my favorite sketches ever.

This is by far funnier than anything i could ever write. I haven't seen it yet, and its already one of my top ten movies. Enjoy

Monday, August 14, 2006

8/14: Celeb of the Week - Larry the Cable Guy

Git R Done! There are few phrases I hate more in the modern vernacular. Larry and his band of miscreants have forced their "redneck" humor upon America for too long. Is Jeff Foxworthy really on tv? How is this possible? They might as well make a tv show showing me taking a dump. Atleast it would be funnier.

Larry the Cable Guy is the worst of this group. First of all, does he actually install cable? Most comedians go by a first and last name. Is his comedy so unsuccessful that he still needs to keep his day job?

The real reason I hate Larry is because I have constantly been seeing ads for his movies on tv his week. I assume it is a straight to video release. Wow, that puts him in great compnay with the Olsen twins.

Larry the Cable Guy: I hate you.

Friday, August 11, 2006

8/11 - Throw'em the heater

Friday is my day of rest and time to hear about what you hate.

For the second consecutive week the winner is LaRie. Will anyone dethrone him? Iam? Steve? Maiden? EP? the triumphant return of thebill? anyone else i didn't mention? the gauntlet has been laid down.

last week's winning hate:
If you've ever bought a car from a dealership, you might understand what I'm about to say. You fill out a survey when you're at the dealership, right after you buy the car. The salesman slips out of sight, so you can "rate your satisfaction". Alright, that was nice. BUT, it's not over... little do you know that you buying a car has shifted the car survey people into action. They must not give the salesman his money until every last survey is completed. A week after we've had the car, I get a call, AT WORK... requesting a quick survey. I was like, I already gave one at the dealership. Oh, this is different. Oddly, I receive another call from the salesman, hoping that I was COMPLETELY satisfied and told the survey people that. At this point, I'm slightly annoyed, but dropped it.

THEN.. I get a "Official Survey of etc etc" in the mail. I just don't have the energy. If you don't want to fill it out by hand you can call this 800 number. (I guess I'll do this, since they'll keep BOTHERING ME) So, I call.... "We're sorry, this 800 number does not work for your area." WHAT? Aren't 800 numbers national? There's an actual area that is cut off? What?

I just filled the stupid thing out and sent it in.. do you know that I have received a post card "reminding me" to return the survey. HELLO, it's been 2 days. AND THEN... a call... this person got the entire brunt of the hate. I told her that they needed to leave me alone and that I was not longer going to fill out anymore surveys. I thought 3 was enough. She says... "So are you completely satified?" Not anymore... dead air.. click. Haven't heard from them since....

Car surveys I hate you.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

8/10 - Failure to Flush

This one's probably not in the best taste but its something that bothers me to the core. If you have a problem with it, you can let me know about it tomorrow. Have you ever walked into a bathroom prepared to do your business only to find a turd staring back at you from the toilet. What was the last person doing that they couldn't get everything down the drain? Is it really that hard to flush a toilet? Is it that hard to flush one twice? I'm sorry, but failure to dispose of one's waste is one of the cardinal sins that can occur in a shared living or working environment.

Here's a step-by-step guide.
1. Do your business
2. Flush
3. glance back at the toilet
4. If necessary repeat steps 2-3
Its that simple. People who can't follow thse rules should be forced to use depends.

People who can't properly flush: I hate you.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

8/9 - Internet Money making Opps

There was a comment in yesterday's post that reminded me of something I hate. Posted by anonymous, it went as follows:
Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money
I won't bother to republish the link. I have always wondered who the idiots are that click on these links. Let me break it to you, there is no way that you can make $10K a month doing nothing from your home. These are all schemes to get your money. There is a reason you must be a start-up fee. This type of scam has been going on forever. Just open your local newspaper and see if there is an ad to work from home. I bet there is. I feel bad for the people who fall for this. These businesses prey on poor feeble minded individuals.

Work from home jobs: I hate you.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

8/8 - Double Dose Tuesday

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I was having too much fun and didn't have any energy left to post thanks to a friend getting a completely comped weekend at the Borgata. Lets just say you haven't lived until you have poured out some Johnny Walker Blue for your hommies no longer with us.

First, belated celebrity hate:

And on double dose tueday, you get a double dose of celeb hate: Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. I don't have a ton to say about them except to questin who cares about their wedding. The wierdest thing I read is that they are having like 4 weddings so that everyone they know can attend. Ummm, don't you guys have some loot? Couldn't you fly the entire state of Arkansas, or where ever white trash resides, to your wedding? Unless this wedding creates another home video of Pam, it really doesn't belong in the news. (honestly, without that Pam and Tommy video, would the internet have taken off? Pam was paris hilton before paris even knew what night vision was)

Pam and Kid: I hate you.

For your second dose, lets talk about the advertisements for free checking. Banks are still pushing this like its some kindof special deal. When was the last time that checking wasn't free? I've had a checking account since I turned 16 and never once did I pay for checks, not even when I only had like $100 with the bank. And are checks even relevant anymore? I write exactly 2 a year, for tuition and thats it. Everything else I pay online, by creditcard or cash. Checks really are a thing from the past. Seinfeld once did a bit where he compared checks to a note from your mommy stating the you promise you have the money and will pay it in the future. I probably didn't do a good job describing the joke, oh well.

free checking ads: I hate you.

Friday, August 04, 2006

8/4 - Throw'em the Heater

It's Friday, and that means it's time to hear about what you hate.

Bring the heat, or don't bring it at all.

See you Monday.

Last week's winner: LaRie

We were all set, made it to the airport on time, got thru security and actually found a seat in the terminal. That's where everything went down hill. We start boarding the plane to Hawaii and I notice that there are people with INFANTS boarding the plane. Oh you guessed it, the infant was seated one row to the right of us. LOVELY. I'd say 8 hrs out of the 8 1/2 hrs the baby cried. These parents didn't have ANYTHING for the kid... they just let the baby scream. SERIOUSLY. And, why do you get up and walk around and let everyone on the plane enjoy the screaming?
During the trip, we had ONE meal that was kid free. If I could pick lottery numbers....
It gets better, on the flight back-- We had THREE infants and one toddler. Why on earth do people travel with infants on a 9 hr flight? Are you insane? All of the babies cried and two parents should be in police custody for overdosing their children with too much Benadryl. Needless to say, we didn't get any sleep.

Stupid parents that travel with infants and toddlers, I hate you.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

8/3 - Post #100

On the occassion of my 100th post, I think this poster describes how I feel.

Hate on.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

8/2 - Backne

Sorry, running late on time, so this will be short and not well developed. I wanted to write about how much I hate backne (backne). Here is the exact circumstance: you are walking down the street and see an attractive woman. She happens to be wearing a tank top. AS you get closer you realize there is something horribly wrong. She has acne all over her upper back. No matter how good th rest of the package is, this cannot be ignored.

Please provide your thoughts on backne and help me fill out this hate.

Backne: I hate you.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

8/1- Car Upkeep

When you buy a car, you hope you are getting a fine piece of machinery. However, if you want to keep it in good shape, there are constant expenses. Every couple months you've got to get the oil changed. Every 10K or so you need to get the tires rotated. You need to get the brakes checked. You need to do this. You need to do that. (granted, I could probably learnto do many of these things myself, but I won't)

I can't think of a single other product that requires this much upkeep. Would you ever buy a bookcase if you had to replace the shelves every 3 months? I know I wouldn't. Its sh*t like this that makes me jealous of those of you who live in a city. For all the hassles of public transportation, atleast you don't have to maintain it.

Car upkeep: I hate you.